US Fundamentalists Out to Destroy Ugandan Gays...

This story has been a bit of a sleeper in the US press, but it's scandalous enough to merit some attention. A powerful and connected group of anti-gay fundamentalist bigots, called The Family (or The Fellowship), converted Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni and has been advising him as he tries to implement even more official repression of gays and lesbians:

Uganda already punished gay intimacy with life in prison. But, apparently that was not harsh enough, with this bill penalizing anyone who “attempts to commit the offence” with up to seven years in jail. Additionally, a person charged will be forced to undergo an invasive medical examination to determine their HIV status. If the detainees are found to be HIV+, they may be executed.

These troglodytes are the very same people pushing theocracy at home, but getting tripped up by their own worldly desires:

The Family, of course, recently made headlines because one of its key members, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) had sex with his best friends wife, while they were working together. Another member, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK), used one of the Family’s Washington properties to try to broker a deal to buy off the furious husband, who has since gone public with the Ensign scandal.

This is the face of biblically-inspired government, people. And it should make you think twice before ever voting for a fundamentalist again.

How Christian Fundamentalist Bigots "Think"

I'll start this one by saying that Phyllis Schlafly is a fucking idiot. I repeat: Phyllis Schlafly is a fucking idiot. We all know that. She's a fundamentalist troglodyte who'd like to see adulterers stoned to death in public, and non-Christians executed for their views. But I can't help reading her occasionally for a laugh. Her "analysis" of the 2008 election borders on lunatic fringe:

...The women who cast off husbands look to Big Brother Government to support them. They vote for the party that promises more benefits from the Welfare State...

...the feminists achieved unilateral divorce on demand from state legislatures, unilateral abortion on demand from the courts, and unilateral control over children in the welfare class by taxpayer handouts to women that made husbands and fathers unnecessary.

The feminists have continued their campaign against marriage through Joe Biden's favorite legislation, the Violence Against Women Act, which provides a billion dollars a year to feminist centers to promote divorce and oppose reconciliation.

Is Phyllis smoking crack? I'm serious: has she developed a drug problem? Or is she just tying a rubber hose around her common sense and shooting up with Jesus™?

Nothing Fails Like Prayer

And now, we turn to the negative. To all of you biblical sheep out there...all of you who prayed for a McCain victory...to all you wingnuts out there who equated an Obama victory with armageddon or the triumph of Satan..to anyone who devolved into speaking in tongues while conducting "spiritual warfare" on Obama...to all of you who truly believe that the dark forces of African witchcraft (no, Africa is not a country Sarah) are casting spells on McCain-Palin...to all of you overly religious, troglodyte sheep, I say this:

NOTHING FAILS LIKE PRAYER

But don't despair, fundamentalists...God™ has a plan for all of us. Yours apparently involves humiliation and being laughed at by sane people.

Even The Fundies Agree...

A new survey from The Barna Group shows Barack Obama making significant inroads among born-again Christians. Yes, you heard correctly. A pro-choice black Democrat from Hawaii by way of Illinois is garnering roughly 43% of the fundamentalist vote...roughly even with John McCain. I guess they've figured out exactly who's been picking their pocketbook these past 8 years.

If There's Grass on the Field...

This had me almost speechless:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/26/AR2008092600417.html

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- Evangelist and convicted tax evader Tony Alamo says the age of consent is puberty and there's a mandate in the Bible for girls marrying young.

...

And so once again, the one-time rock promoter and street preacher that former President Clinton likened to "Roy Orbison on speed" will return to federal court.

Roy Orbison on speed...classic.