John Roberts Channels Sally Struthers

John Roberts thinks that judges make too little. That paragon of conservative judicial activism, the very same one whose party wants the rest of us to make less, whose party that hates all public employees, thinks federal judges need substantial raises. Maybe we should take up a collection.

...and Dirt is Brown

From the my-goodness-that's-a-surprise department:

Virginity pledges don't mean much, study says

According to a study published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, pledge takers are as likely to have sex before marriage as other teens who are also religious, but don't take the pledge. However, pledge takers are less likely than other religious or conservative teens to use condoms or birth control when they do start having sex.

These kids took a virginity pledge, and have sex anyway...might that be construed as bearing false witness? So in the epic battle between The Bible and The Libido, guess who wins...

It's Official: Blagojevich is an Idiot...

Rod Blagojevich is going to name a successor to President-Elect Obama's Senate seat today. Talk about stupid. The Senate, if they have any sense, won't seat this guy. And if the people of Illinois have any integrity, they won't elect him in a subsequent election. Yet Blago continues to push his version of political theater, damaging the emerging progressive movement for his own personal gain. Absurd.

Thou Art Cursed, O Bristol Palin

Right wingers and the press are smitten Jesus-style with the birth of Sarah Palin's first grandaughter:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teenage daughter Bristol has given birth to a son, People magazine reported on Monday.
...
"The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited," Jones told the magazine. The couple have said they plan to marry.

Wait...they're not married yet? According to The Bible, that's a sin...and it's punishable by a 10 generation expulsion from the church:

23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Sorry, Bristol...looks like your son won't be able to attend the Wasilla Assembly of God™ to listen to grandma talk about people and dinosaurs coexisting and bleating on about how our soldiers are doing God™'s work in I-rak. You'll just have to go to a sensible church, where they don't interpret the Bible with selective literalism.

Da Bears...Da Cal Bears

My Cal Bears won a bowl game yesterday. It was way too much of a squeaker, but I'll take it. The Bears have won 5 bowl games (and lost one) since 2003, making me a happy man. But the big one's still elusive...I want to see my Bears play in the Rose Bowl.

Adventures in Food Processing

Anne's parents really spoiled us at Christmas, and it was a decidedly food-themed spoiling. We are now the proud owners of a 14-cup top-of-the-line stainless steel Cuisinart MP-14N food processor...with all the accessories you can possibly dream up. We also got a couple of cookbooks, and some various other kitchen goodies. You can imagine the damage we're going to do with this thing, alongside our KitchenAid stand mixer. I almost feel obligated to bake, make pesto, or hummus on a daily basis.

Bush Channels Nixon

From the "I am not a crook" files:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081228/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_legacy

WASHINGTON – First Lady Laura Bush disagrees with critics who call the presidency of George W. Bush a failure.

"I know it's not, and so I don't really feel like I need to respond to people that view it that way," Mrs. Bush said in an interview that aired Sunday. "I think history will judge and we'll see later."

I think history has already judged him...and so have the American people.

Happy Birthday Dear Jesus(TM)

I WILL find a way to make this into a talking Christmas Card...

5-Foot-9...I Didn't Know They Stacked Shit That High

Sheer fackin' hillarity....

Merry Christmas!

Religion's Influence on the Wane

67% of Americans believe that religion is losing influence in America. That's a good thing, if it's true. There's nothing like massive unemployment and the worst economic environment in 3 generations to make people in the madrasas throw down their prayer books, notice the pangs of hunger and the lack of a roof over their heads, and cast superstition to the wind. Now if we can just get them to take the next logical step...rioting in the streets...

Chuck E Cheese...Worse Than a Biker Bar

From http://cityguides.msn.com/citylife/cityarticle.aspx?cp-documentid=15819667&page=print

Officers have been called to break up 12 fights, some of them physical, at the child-oriented pizza parlor since January 2007. The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child's birthday party. Seven officers arrived and found as many as 40 people knocking over chairs and yelling in front of the restaurant's music stage, where a robotic singing chicken and the chain's namesake mouse perform.
...

"The biggest problem is you have a bunch of adults acting like juveniles," says Town of Brookfield Police Capt. Timothy Imler. "There's a biker bar down the street, and we rarely get calls there."

Personally, I know that igning buzzard always threw me into uncontrollable rage...

Frustration, Thy Name is Travel

I just found out that my Cal Bears are playing in a bowl game, in San Francisco, on December 27th. And I don't fly back from New York until the 28th. Damnit. I've never been able to go to a bowl game to see Cal play. I almost made it to the Insight Bowl in 2003, but travel got in the way. I was planning on going to the Holiday Bowl in 2006, but things didn't pan out. Now, with my Bears playing a bowl game less than 2 miles from my house, I'll be 3000 miles away. I'm tempted to come home a couple of days early. But no, that'd cost me money, and I need the time off. I guess I'll wish the Bears well and watch it on TV.

Christmas Comes Early

She knew exactly what I wanted...nothing too fancy, nothing expensive, but something that will hold my attention for more than a few seconds. And 220hp prototype motorcycles that go over 200mph definitely hold my attention...especially when one of them is Ducati red. Anne gave me an early present at the dinner table last night. I felt bad because her only gift from me is already in New York, ready to be delivered by Santa (Satan) Claus. Like a kid on Christmas morning, I ripped it open, ran to the console, and had a lap around Mugello...as Valentino Rossi, of course.

MotoGP 08 is an incremental evolution from the MotoGP 07 version. The biggest difference is that you can now race the 250cc and 125cc two-strokes as well as the 800cc four-stroke machinery. They've also updated the circuits to match this season, adding Indianapolis and subtracting Istanbul. They even try to match the class schedule, since the game won't let you race the two-strokes at Laguna Seca. That's too bad...I always wanted to watch Alvaro Bautista take people out in the Corkscrew.

All in all, a good game. The graphics are a bit improved from last year, and the bikes ride a bit differently. And adding the two strokes is something people have always wanted. I'll be spending more than a few hours on this.

Blaming the Unions

We all know the Republicans and their sponsors in the corporate supremacy movement are out to destroy organized labor. It's part of their ideology, and they've been chipping away at the unions for years. And now they have the biggest private sector prize of all in their sights: the UAW. Senate Republicans circulating a memo encouraging their members to mount an assault on the UAW as part of the proposed bailout for auto companies. The GOP and their allies in the corporate media then spent a great deal of airtime blaming the UAW for Detroit's problems. And the media has played right along, citing an utterly false assertion that GM workers earn an average wage of $70 or more per hour, compared to US-based workers in Japanese auto companies who supposedly earn much less. That number is completely off base, as it was calculated by taking into account the benefits paid to retirees, as well as other figures designed to inflate the number. But it hasn't stopped the media outlets from parroting the $70+ figure right, left, and center.

The real cash wage for these workers in 2006 was $39.68. According to GM:

TOTAL COMPENSATION
The total of both cash compensation and benefits provided to GM hourly workers in 2006 amounted to approximately $73.26 per active hour worked. This total is made of two main components: cash compensation ($39.68) and benefit/government required programs ($33.58).
The average annual cash compensation for hourly employees in 2006 was $39.68 per hour. Included in average earnings are straight-time pay, Cost of Living Allowance (COLA), night-shift premiums, overtime premiums, holiday and vacation pay. In 2003, GM workers logged 41,363 (hours in 000's) in overtime hours for an average of 371 hours per worker; in 2004, 39,409 overtime hours for an average of 374 hours per worker; in 2005, 33,555 overtime hours for an average of 337 hours per worker; and in 2006, 27,265 overtime hours for an average of 315 hours per worker.

Benefit/government required programs in 2006 added an additional $33.58 for each active hour worked. These costs include: group life insurance, disability benefits, and Supplemental Unemployment Benefits (SUB), Job Security (JOBS), pensions, unemployment compensation, Social Security taxes, and hospital, surgical, prescription drug, dental, and vision care benefits.

So these supposedly rich, profligate union auto workers are averaging around $39 per hour in cash pay. And that's before taxes. And this graphic (from the New York Times) makes it clear that much of the auto makers' labor costs come from "legacy costs" or what they promised to retirees:



Much of those legacy costs, including health care for retirees, have been foisted onto the UAW itself beyond 2010.

The real problem in Detroit has more to do with the credit crisis (which was engineered by the free marketeers' allies on Wall Street) as well as the auto manufacturers' insistence on making SUVs instead of high-quality economical vehicles. The Republicans, factually off-base as usual, are once again scapegoating working people for the nation's problems.

December...and I'm Still Riding

Sunday dawned cold and relatively clear. We did a great 2-up group ride around Marin. Anne braved the elements with me, and we had a great ride, ending with lunch at Picco and a wheelie/stoppie clinic at the Presidio. Anne took some videos, which I plan to post soon.

A good weekend!

Dumb Hipsters: The Greatest Gift of All

I was having a difficult day. Well, make that a hard week. A disgruntled customer at work, accusatory meetings, dire economic news, massive job losses in the US, an impending deadline for a massive document, and an unwanted trip to Sacramento, the unhappiest place on Earth. Then, today, I realized that I needed an oil change on the Supersport to go on the Cupcake Ride tomorrow.

Wrenching on the bike on a Friday afternoon after a hard week is not my idea of fun. And I didn't have any crush washers, nor enough 20W-50 oil. Damn. And the only available option is Munroe Motors. It's only two blocks away, but it's overpriced. Of course, I'm not going to get Ducati crush washers from Scuderia or Cycle Gear. And as much as I love Desmoto, Darren kind of looks at me funny when I ask him to get me parts. So Munroe it is.

I rode my bicycle over there, wanting to get the parts quickly and get the job done. The parts guys were pleasant to deal with, but I still cringe at the idea of spending money there...especially with the prices they charge for oil (it's still $40+ for 4 quarts of synthetic?) As I was buying the oil, I saw a dumb hipster fly by in the Valencia St. bike lane on a moped...a hipster on a moped: how original.


I left Munroe and started riding home on Valencia. Mid-block between 14th and 15th, just outside Four Barrel Coffee, an SFPD motorcycle cop had the hipster pulled over. He had his helmet off, with his faux-hawk waving in all its idiotic glory. I slowed down so I could listen. The cop had stopped the hipster for riding in the bike lane like an idiot. And he was citing him for not having even an M2 endorsement on his license. I rode by, was tempted to laugh out loud at the trust fund baby, but just decided to smile and enjoy the moment ;D

Alabama County Declares Obama Holiday

Talk about a giant middle finger...this is great.

The rural county, which overwhelmingly supported Obama in last month's presidential election, has approved the second Monday in November as "The Barack Obama Day." Commissioners passed a measure that would close county offices for the new annual holiday and its roughly 40 workers will get a paid day off.

...

Perry County has 12,000 residents, most of them black. Voters there backed Obama by over 70 percent in a state that gave 60 percent of the overall vote to Republican John McCain based largely on strong support from white voters.

Classic: a rural Alabama county honors the first black man elected President. I can see the burning crosses already...

MOB Sign Fund

Sally Struthers would be proud...

(donations now closed...thanks to all!)

The Body in the Elevator Shaft

http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_11119257

This was my office building...I came down the stairs to go home yesterday and found the lobby full of cops and medical examiners, investigating the elevator shaft. Someone apparently fell down the shaft from the 6th or 7th floor last week. The body had been there for over a week before being discovered by elevator maintenance folks.

I'll be taking the stairs from now on...

The Onion: Blue Angels Hold First-Ever Open Tryouts

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/blue_angels_hold_first_ever_open

Blue Angels Hold First-Ever Open Tryouts
87 Dead, 243 Injured in Day 1 of Weeklong Event

PENSACOLA, FL—Harold Enderby's friends say that when he first saw the Navy's televised announcement that the Flight Demonstration Squadron, better known as the Blue Angels, would be holding open tryouts for the first time in its history, the lifelong aviation buff turned to his fellow sanitation workers at Doug's Dugout Bar-N-Grill and said, "Mark my words—I'm going to be a Blue Angel if it's the last thing I do."

...

Friggin hillarious.

A Modern Parable

Got this from someone at work...

A Modern Parable.

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

Sadly, the End.

Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US The last quarter's results: TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses...

Sad but true...

D-Link: Possibly the Worst Customer Experience Ever

I recently bought a D-Link 323 network-attached storage bay. I was psyched to get network storage...no more annoying USB cables, and I can access the drive from any computer. I ordered the unit, bought two 500GB drives, and set everything up per instructions. With the drives formatted, I was able to push 350GB of my data onto the drive. So far, so good. Until I tried to log in to the admin utility and get an ugly message:


"The hard drives have been installed incorrectly. Please power off and swap the hard drive locations."

OK, seems simple enough. I tried swapping the drives, but no dice. I got the same message. So I decided to open a ticket on D-Link's support site. Simple enough...I fill out the form, submit, and wait for an answer. Two days later, I get a reply:

This problem is better diagnosed over the phone. Please call our support center and reference ticket number XXXXXXXXXX to work through the issue with one of our specialists.

So far I'm calm...I nuderstand that some issues are better-diagnosed over the phone, with live interaction. So on Friday the 28th I dialed D-Link. What follows is a basic transcript of the call:

Minutes 1-8: On hold, waiting for a product specialist, listening ot a constant stream of advertisements for D-Link products. Yeah...I really want to hear about your products when I'm on hold, waiting to resolve an issue with one of them.

Minutes 8-13: Speaking with a first-line tech support person with a thick accent I couldn't place. She couldn't find the ticket I filed online. It took her 3 minutes and four explanations just to understand what was going on with the device. She put me on hold for another minute, then decided to transfer me to another support office.

Minutes 14-25: Holding for another support office, again listening to advertising.

Minutes 26-35: Speaking with a second-line support person. I again had to explain the issue 3 times. We eventually get to the firmware version and hardware version I'm using. He put me on hold while "researching" the issue.

Minutes 36-43: On hold, again listening ot advertisements, while the second-line tech was "researching."

Minutes 44-46: Tech 2 spends a minute and a half explaining to me that he needs to transfer me to D-Link's "business" support office. I reluctantly agree, and he transfers me.

Minutes 46-47: The answering machine for the "business" level support office explains that they're away for the holiday, and to please call back during business hours.

Minutes: 48-48.5: I throw the phone across the room in a rage, wondering why I spent part of my day off doing this.

I poked around D-Link's website a bit, and discovered that they have forums! Why, the community might help me out here! I posted a question, with full details and even a screenshot. Someone in the community offered up the idea to reformat my drive...but that requires getting into the very admin utility that's giving me the error. I may eventually resolve the issue, but I shouldn't have to. And the level of support should be much, much higher.

Tell me: if any of us ran a business that way, how long would we last? How is it that modern corporations can treat people this way and still sell enough product to stay afloat?

Some Cafe Press Classics

Sure, the election is over...but there are some classic shirt designs still out there:



And my favorite:

Hipster Olympics

Fackin Hillarious:

Yes! Finally, Someone Gets It

From mirkgard:

I fucking hate hipsters

The Economics of Tivo

I've been saying this for years...Tivo saves me money. Since I got the infernal box back in 2002, I've skipped countless ads, saved countless hours, and had a better quality of life. Good thing I got the box with a lifetime subscription... Now I'm a bit worried that the thing won't work after the digital conversion in 2009. If the box does become worthless, I'm thinking about either hacking it to install a network card and an HD receiver, or simply buying Beyond TV and putting it on a beefed up PC.