Another Great Quote...

Saying the Iraq "Surge" worked is like saying Thelma & Louise had a flying car.
- JML9999, at KOS

Stevens Creates His Own Reality

Ted Stevens, after being convicted of 7 felony counts earlier this week, is insisting that it didn't happen:

"I have not been convicted of anything," he maintained during a Thursday night debate in Anchorage, only days before Tuesday's election.

Like other prominent Republicans, it appears that Stevens is trying to create his own reality. Nevermind the 12 people who convicted him. Nevermind the solid case against him. The Senate's longest serving Republican thikns he hasn't been convicted of anything at all.

If the people of Alaska re-elect this man I may lose my faith in the goodness of humanity.

UPDATE
It looks like reality is giving Stevens a bit of an ulcer. He's losing his re-election bid:

Stevens (R) 36 (46)
Begich (D) 58 (48)

Have fun in prison, Ted. And remember: spit's the best lube around.

Geezer-Dingbat '08

Quote of the Week - 27 Oct 2008

"Senator Stevens, if you do end up in prison, try sneaking out through the Internet. After all, it really is just a series of tubes."

- Stephen Colbert, 28 Oct 2009

Quote of the Week - 27 Oct 2008

"Senator Stevens, if you do end up in prison, try sneaking out through the Internet. After all, it really is just a series of tubes."

- Stephen Colbert, 28 Oct 2009

More Jim Crow-Style Voting Shenanigans in the South

We know all about the Republicans' above-ground attempts to suppress voting by "unfavorable" constituencies (like black folks, poor people, or Democrats). Terms like caging lists and voter purges flow freely through the national press and the blogosphere. But occasionally we see some even more underhanded and disgusting things...like this:

A phony State Board of Elections flier advising Republicans to vote on Nov. 4 and Democrats on Nov. 5 is being circulated in several Hampton Roads localities, according to state elections officials.

I guess someone thinks that people in the "fake" Virginia are stupid.

The Dumb Cracker Files: Lee Harvey Trailer Trash

We know there are some really dumb people out there. Unfortunately, a lot of them have guns. These two are exemplar. Daniel Cowart and Paul Schlesselman are two neo-nazi thugs from rural Tennessee...very rural:

In a rural Tennessee county where you can't buy alcohol or even find a Wal-Mart, residents of tiny Bells stopped each other to ask if anyone knew the pale-skinned young local accused of plotting to kill dozens of black people, including Barack Obama.

Bells, TN...where alcohol ain't on sale, there are more churches than schools, and where all the children are apparently below average. While it may not surprise many people that this kind of idiocy can come out of rural Tennessee, it apparently comes as a big surprise to the salt-of-the-earth folks who live there:

The town surrounded by fertile cotton fields is safe and certainly not known for breeding neo-Nazis, they agreed.

"If we had any skinheads in this county I wasn't aware of it. We hardly know what they are," said Sam Lewis, who lives across the street from the mother of suspect Daniel Cowart. Cowart, he said, grew up in the comfortable, well-maintained neighborhood and wasn't known as a troublemaker.

Cotton fields? In the South? Skinheads and racism? In rural Tennessee? This sounds eerily familiar in a historical context. Remember the good salt-of-the-earth German citizens who claimed they knew nothing about the concentration camps in their midst? OK, maybe it's not on that scale. But the belief that your community/President/party/religion/God(TM)/kin can do no wrong is often the first step in a long journey toward fascism. Sam Lewis might not think his town is capable of producing such idiocy, but I bet he steps into the voting booth next month and punches the chad for John McCain and Mitch McConnell. And Lord(TM) help us if a Muslim moved into the area. Wake up, folks. The rural south is exactly where this kind of crap takes seed, gets fertilized, and blooms into a gigantic turd blossom. These two morons got caught because they stepped over the line and made actual plans. How many more are out there with only general notions?

Stevens Convicted

It's the perfect political storm. Today a court convicted Alaska Senator Ted Stevens of ethics violations. The Republican Senator had a oil services firm pay for major renovations to his home, and failed to disclose them. Note that he didn't get convicted of taking bribes, but was instead convicted of failing to report them. These convictions are federal felonies.

Sedaris on Undecided Voters

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

Absentee Ballots Collected, then Disappear

I mentioned some actual voter fraud by a GOP-connected firm in the past. To date, this is the only instance of voter registration fraud I've seen charged in the US. Now comes a report that operatives connected to a Florida Republican House Member facing a tough re-election fight collected absentee ballots from Democratic voters and dumped them in the trash.

Three Hialeah voters say they had an unusual visitor at their homes last week: a man who called himself Juan, offering to help them fill out their absentee ballots and deliver them to the elections office.

The voters, all supporters of Democratic congressional candidate Raul Martinez, said they gave their ballots to the man after he told them he worked for Martinez. But the Martinez campaign said he doesn't work for them.

Juan ''told me not to worry, that they normally collected all the ballots and waited until they had a stack big enough to hand-deliver to the elections department,'' said voter Jesus Hernandez, 73. 'He said, `Don't worry. This is not going to pass through the mail to get lost.' ''

Sounds a lot like snake oil to me...

Wazuuuuuuuuuuuup!

A hillarious video from the Budweiser guys:

Anchorage Daily News Endorses Obama

Sarah Palin's home state may love her, but Anchorage's largest daily paper doesn't. The Anchorage Daily News has endorsed Barack Obama for president. This is a trend: editorial boards across the country are endorsing Obama, as the failure of 30 years of neoconservative economic and social policy is exposed daily in our financial markets and in the larger economy. This is part of a growing consensus across the nation that it's time for a drastic change in government, and that Obama is the candidate with the best potential to lead that change.

No Pay Cuts for Wall Street Execs

American financial services firms may have had their worst year since the Great Depression, but you could never tell that by looking at how they're compensating their executives. Many of the biggest banks are preparing to pay their execs as much as they did in 2007 or more. Citigroup has cut 23,000 jobs, paid out over $25 billion in 2009. And they're getting almost a trillion dollars of our money. Ridiculous.

Even The Fundies Agree...

A new survey from The Barna Group shows Barack Obama making significant inroads among born-again Christians. Yes, you heard correctly. A pro-choice black Democrat from Hawaii by way of Illinois is garnering roughly 43% of the fundamentalist vote...roughly even with John McCain. I guess they've figured out exactly who's been picking their pocketbook these past 8 years.

Bush Lies Again...on Guantanamo

George Bush lied again. Several months ago, the government announced that it was closing the illegal detention center at Guantanamo Bay. Now they've reversed course and said they're not going to close it.

"This president and the next president will come in and realise how complicated this issue is," she said.

Too complicated? You mean all those people who you shouldn't be holding without trial can't be moved? Oh yeah...I forgot...George W Bush is retarded and can't handle such decisions. Maybe Sarah Palin could help figure it out?

Hotel TVs...WTF?

If you travel at all, you've probably encountered the LodgeNet Remote. It's a TV remote that many hotel chains use to add pay-per-view movies and games to their TVs. And it's an absolute piece of shit that needs to die an agonizing death. It's clunky, it doesn't work right, and it slows down the TV. Tell me this: should a remote take 3-4 seconds to change a channel? Should it require you to wait a full second between pushing successive buttons (like when switching to a double-digit channel)? And most of all, shouldn't a TV remember the last channel you were on instead of resetting back to the annoying hotel ad channel? Yeah. I thought so.

I'm stuck at a Hilton in Austin, TX and the LodgeNet remote has been pissing me off. So has the ungodly slow internet access that requires me to log in via proxy every 30 minutes. All of this idiocy just so that Paris Hilton can make a lame sex tape and spend money she didn't earn...if ever we needed more evidence that the inheritance tax is a good thing.

So Ronery...Part I

On my other blog, I introduced a periodic feature called The Redneck Files, which featured dumb people from red states doing dumb things. I figured I should start something like that here, but with a twist. So starting now, I'm going to make an effort to track complete butcherings of the English language...bonus points if it's by people who should know better. Here's our mascot:

In tribute to our favorite North Korean Dicatator caricature from Team America, here's an appropriate first entry:
Thought: shouldn't they require a literacy test before allowing someone to have a gun? Speak Engrish or die, commie.

Some Actual Voter Fraud

Well, they finally caught and arrested someone for voter fraud. And he's not part of ACORN...he's the owner of a Republican voter registration firm:

California and local investigators charge that Jacoby fraudulently registered himself to vote at a childhood California home, but doesn't live there any longer. They allege he registered fraudulently so he could meet the requirement that signature gatherers be registered in California, the Times said.

An absolute classic. Committing voter fraud so that you can register voters into a party that claims massive voter fraud is a problem in national elections.

Obama's Tax Cut Calculator

Sure, it's a partisan ploy. Sure, it's just a preliminary plan, one which will probably change once it hits the desk of your local Congresscritter. But Barack Obama has a Tax Cut Calculator on his site, and he's made it available as a widget. Here goes:



I appreciate any presidential candidate who understands Javascript widgets and Web 2.0.

America - WTF?

It's a quandary. America's economy is faltering in a way not seen in generations. We've got simultaneous wars in the middle east draining our public coffers. We're torturing people now, with the blessing of our so-called leaders. Many people weren't saving at all, and those who are saving have seen those savings dwindle significantly as the bears take over on Wall Street. The middle class has seen stagnating wages for nearly 30 years, while the total amount they pay in taxes, fees, and other charges, while the rich have seen greater returns and lower taxes. Health insurance premiums have risen many times faster than wages under our privatized health care system. And I'm out of coffee.

How is it that we came to this point? How did the empire come so close to falling? How has the most productive, innovative, and charitable nation in the world get to this point? How could we have elected a series of "leaders" who brought us to this juncture? Our political system is broken. That, in turn, has broken our economic system. We've voted for greed, corruption, xenophobia, and against the public good for over 30 years. We've treated America not as a society, but as a market. We all want to be Paris Hilton, even though that's not likely. We're living in a state of denial.

How do we get all of this? Electing Barack Obama is a fair first step, but it won't solve anything by itself. Giving Obama a strong mandate for change will help too. But we won't start doing better until we get down to the real work: reform elections, encourage savings, provide health care to all Americans, quell the pain of losing a job, stop spending money on unnecessary wars, stop locking people up for minor crimes, and focus government help on all of society...not just the rich.

Endorsing Torture

The Bush Administration rushed in 2003 and 2004 to cover the CIA's ass after it started torturing people. The memos indicate that White House policymakers directly endorsed "controversial interrogation methods" including waterboarding:

It came up in the daily meetings. We heard it from our field officers," said a former senior intelligence official familiar with the events. "We were already worried that we" were going to be blamed.

This is just more fuel on the fire. The most criminal, wreckless, and blatantly avaristic administration in US history hasn't surprised me much, so throw this on the pile.

McCain's "New" Economic Plan...WTF?

What would you think if the person who raped you later hit on you in a bar? I know, I know...that's a harsh analogy. But it aptly describes some of the drivel John McCain is trying to recycle and shovel down our throats. A cut in the capital gains tax? Please...That's a retread and a non-starter. Regular people are hurting. Regular people don't usually pay capital gains taxes, but the rich sometimes do. And as Barack Obama so elegantly put it, nobody really has capital gains right now. Giving yet another tax break to the wealthiest Americans, the very people who got us into this mess, is not appropriate. Reaganomics caused our current economic woes. It's time to stop practicing them in government.

Along the same theme, I heard a fairly refreshing interview with Ralph Nader today. I'm not supporting him this year, but it was great to hear some of his ideas. Among the ones that caught my ear:

Adopting a securities speculation tax
Nader's claims of this tax generating $500 billion may be a bit high, but it's a worthy proposal on just the merits. If the miscreants on Wall Street are profiting on our misery, let's at least make them pay for part of their bailout.

Fair Trade
It's time to stop offshoring jobs and production just because it's cheaper. America's prosperity begins with production at home.

Fair Taxation
The rich have skipped out on paying their fair share for a generation or more. It's time we brought back fair taxation. That, for me, means a heavily progressive income tax...and it means taxing real work at lower rates than simply moving money around. Our system does exactly the opposite right now.

Hey Barack...you'd do well to read some of these. It's time for a fundamental change in how we do economic policy, and you're going to win the presidency. Fixing this is your job, and you'd better listen to the brightest minds in our society.

One Thing YOU Can Do to Stem the Panic

Signed, sealed, delivered. To the mailbox, anyway. I just sent off my absentee ballot. On it is a mark that connects the arrow for change in America...a vote to regulate the profiteers on Wall Street...a vote for national healthcare and against privatization...a vote for Barack Obama.

One month from now, we'll see an electoral landslide rivaling any seen in history. People are hurting, and they know it's the fault of the Republicans who've run our economic policy for 30 years. On January 20 it will again be Morning in America.

Play That Fiddle, Nero, Redux

Rome is burning. Wall Street panics, our retirement savings are gone, the national debt is growing, our home values are falling, and people are losing jobs. And George W. Bush and his cronies...the very people who started this mess...are playing the fiddle. When will people start calling him The New Hoover?

In 7 days many people have seen more than half of their retirement savings disappear. Gone. They've gone from the prospect of a comfortable retirement in their homes to the prospect of living out their golden years in the streets begging for change. This is the collective legacy of 30 years of laissez-faire policies and market fundamentalism gone awry. Speculative bubbles...financial derivatives whose value is based not on actual value, but on market psychology...greater downside risk. It's beginning to look a lot like 1929...now if we could just get stockbrokers to start jumping out windows.

Thanks a Lot, Repugs

We're in the midst of the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression. Equity markets are in turmoil. Creditors aren't lending. Retirement savings have disappeared overnight. And the pain is going to hit the poor and middle class hardest. This, my friends, is the legacy of deregulation and market findamentalism that started in the Reagan era, continued through Clinton, and has finally come to a head during the worst presidency in our nation's history.

It's time for this nation to stop trusting the bought-and-paid-for politicians who pushed us into this mess. Anybody preaching a market "solution" to our current problems should be thrown out of the public square, tarred and feathered, and ignored ever more. Their credibility is now nil. In short, it's time for a return to rational thought.

Election 2008 - My Picks

2008 is a pivotal year in American civil life. Our economy is imploding, America is conducting two wars, and the world seems to be on edge. And Americans are ready for change. Here's what my ballot will look like:

---

PRESIDENT

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Barack Obama

For the first time in my adult life, I'll vote for the Democratic nominee for president. And I'll do it proudly, with no reservations. Barack Obama is the best candidate the Democrats have put forward in a generation. He's astute, intelligent, holds many core progressive values, and he hasn't been around Washington long enough to have been truly corrupted. While past Democratic nominees have been too corrupt for me to hold my nose and vote for, Obama has no such issues for me.

Obama isn't perfect: his late reversals on offshore drilling and on the Bush Administration's illegal wiretaps bothered me. And I don't put too much faith in the office of the President to change things. One high-stakes winner-take-all election every four years isn't the right way to run a country. And our electoral system favors rural states and big money. Those are problems we'll have to overcome with grassroots action. Cynthia McKinney and Ralph Nader are fine candidates but for this election, America has a real chance to embrace positive change and send a message to Washington that the neoliberal economic policies of the past 30 years have failed, and that it's time for a new New Deal. Vote for Obama.

---

United States Representative; District 8

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Cindy Sheehan

Nancy Pelosi is a disgrace. She "represents" the most progressive district in America, yet she continually votes for war and has taken impeachment off the table. She also voted to give Wall Street hundreds of billions in taxpayer money with few strings. Cindy Sheehan presents a clear, well-known alternative. It's time for Pelosi to go.

---

State Senator; District 3

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Mark Leno
After a bruising and unnecessary primary challenge against Carole Migden, Leno has emerged as the candidate of choice for the local state senate seat. Leno is somewhat progressive, but often sides with San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom on important issues...and that's often the wrong side. Still, Leno is by far the best choice in this race.

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Member of the State Assembly; District 13

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Tom Ammiano
Tom's the best choice here to take over Mark Leno's empty seat. He'll win easily, and he'll be a very good representative.

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Superior Court Judge; San Francisco County; Seat 12

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Gerardo Sandoval
Sandoval has been mercilessly targeted by regressive forces in San Francisco. He's been somewhat controversial on teh Board of Supervisors, but he's been a good progressive. And he's far better than Mellon.

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Board Member; San Francisco Unified School District

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Sandra Lee Fewer
Barbara Lopez
Norman Yee
A progressive slate for the nation's most progressive school board.

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Board Member; San Francisco Community College District

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NO ENDORSEMENT
City College of SF is a mess. Bond money is misspent, money is spent on athletics instead of academics, and the college refuses to comply with sunshine laws. Unfortunately, the candidates on the ballot won't change anything. I can't endorse any of them.

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Board of Directors; San Francisco Bay Area Rapid Transit District; District 9

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Tom Radulovich
Tom is a strong progressive voice on the BART board. He's been a great transit advocate, and should get another term.

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CA Ballot Propositions

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• 1A: High Speed Passenger Train Bonds
  
  YES
  It's time to modernize California's transportation system. Air travel wastes a tremendous amount of energy for short trips, and a rail infrastructure would create thousands of jobs in our state.



• 2: Standards for Confining Farm Animals

YES
California is a pioneer for many things, and it's time to add treatment of farm animals to that list. Opponents have trotted out the tired old argument that this measure will make California farms less competitive, but that hasn't held water on anything else. In fact, changes in California law often lead national thinking. Vote yes.



• 3: Children's Hospital Bond Act. Grant Program

YES
I generally hate bonds, but this outlay is worthwhile.


• 4: Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor's Pregnancy

NO NO NO!
Anti-choice zealots try this every election cycle. Their goal is to slowly eat away at womens' right to choose. Vote NO!



• 5: Nonviolent Drug Offenses, Sentencing, Parole and Rehabilitation
  
  YES
  Expand treatment and rehabilitation for drug offenses, and reduce expenditures? Absolutely.



• 6: Police and Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Penalties and Laws

NO NO NO!
The "tough-on-crime" water carriers for cop unions are pandering for bigger budgets again. It's time to put a stop to draconian law enforcement measures.



• 7: Pickens' Personal Renewable Plan
  
  NO
  T Boone Pickens is not a force for good in our nation. He speculated in Oil, funded Repugnican politicians for generations, and he funded the Swift Boaters in 2004. Now he's dumped a lot of his money into natural gas and wind, and he wants your vote to ensure that he makes a profit. Proposition 7 would divert funding and mandates away from other more viable renewable energy sources towards Pickens' own investments. Vote NO!
  



• 8: Bigoted Discrimination in Marriage
  
  NO NO NO!
  California stepped past its bigoted history this year when the state Supreme Court voided the Knight initiative banning gay marriage on constitutional grounds. Now the bigots are back with a constitutional ammendment designed to re-implement discrimination in marriage. This initiative is poisonous and divisive. Let's keep the fundamentalist churches out of our personal lives. Vote NO!
  



• 9: Draconian Sentencing
  
  NO NO NO!
  The law-and-order crowd managed to get two props on this ballot. Le't just say no to the reactionaries and reject this one too.



• 10: Alternative Fuel Vehicles and Renewable Energy. Bonds
  
  NO
  Bonds are a terrible way to finance things. You get less than half the money you borrow, and the profits and fees go to the richest people in America. We need to tax the rich to get the funds we need. And the proceeds for this one are questionable too. Vote NO.



• 11: Redistricting

No
I'm of a couple minds on redistricting. The best way to make elections more competitive is to implement ranked choice voting and multi-seat districts with proportional representation. Redistricting, whether it's in the hands of politicians or judges, will always be subjective and prone to partisan bias. Vote no.



• 12: Veteran's Bond Act of 2008
  
  NO
  Again, bonds are bad. Though it's a laudable goal to spend money on veterans, bond financing is the wrong way to do it.

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San Francisco Country Ballot Measures

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• A: General Hospital and Trauma Center Earthquake Safety Bonds
  
  YES
  SF General is the last bastion of public health in the city, and is the cornerstone of the Healthy SF plan. Vote Yes.



• B: Affordable Housing Fund
  
  YES YES YES
  San Francisco's number one problem is housing. Vote Yes.



• C: Prohibiting City Employees from Serving on Charter Boards and Commissions
  
  Yes
A good-government reform that may keep mayoral cronies and patrons from influencing commission decisions.


• D: Pier 70 Waterfront District Development Plan
  
  NO
  I'm disinclined to approve a waterfront plan that includes too much commercial development. And when this measure is pushed by the anti-progressives like Alioto-Pier, that poisons it for me. Vote NO.



• E: Changing the Number of Signatures Required to Recall City Officials
  
  YES
  The failed recall of Supervisor McGoldrick was ridiculous, and now is the time to change this law. A 10% threshold is ridiculously low.



• F: Holding All Scheduled City Elections Only in Even- Numbered Years
  
  NO
  The odd-numbered years provide a good forum to focus on city elections. We never would have had Gonzalez-v-Newsom in an even-numbered year. Vote No.



• G: Allowing Retirement System Credit for Unpaid Parental Leave
  
  YES
This one boils down to common sense.


• H: Clean Energy Deadlines
  
  YES YES YES
  It's time to drag PG&E into the 21st century. They may kick and scream about generating energy via renewable means, but that's just too bad. Vote YES!



• I: Office of an Independent Rate Payer Advocate

NO
This one is PG&E's canard to draw attention away from measure H. Vote NO!



• J: Historic Preservation Commission
  
  NO
  Not another commission....



• K: Enforcement of Laws Related to Prostitution
  
  YES
  I'm a bit torn. But in general I favor decriminalizing prostitution. Vote Yes.



• L: Community Justice Center
  
  NO NO NO
  A meaningless feel-good waste of taxpayer dollars for Newsom's pet program. Vote No.



• M: Residential Rent Ordinance
  
  YES
  Prohibits landlords from harassing tenants.



• N: Real Property Transfer Tax Rates

YES
Disclosure: I'm potentially subject to this tax. And I support it. The city needs money, and real estate speculators have gotten away with not paying their fair share for years. Vote Yes.



• O: Replacing the Emergency Response Fee
  
  YES
  This makes the 911 tax a bit fairer. Vote Yes.



• P: County Transportation Authority Board
  
  NO NO NO
  A blatant power grab by Newsom's minions to control MUNI. Vote No!



• Q: Payroll Expense Tax
  
  YES
  The payroll tax has been an impediment to job creation in San Francisco. This is a chance to reform it a bit. Vote Yes.



• R: Renaming the Oceanside Water Treatment Plant
  
  YES YES YES
  This is the type of ballot measure that reminds me of the many reasons I love this city. What better tribute to 8 years of Bush Administration ineptitude, corruption, and malice toward liberty than to name our sewage treatment plant after George W. Bush? Vote yes!
  



• S: Budget Set-Asides and Identification of Replacement Funds
  
  NO
  A budget play by anti-progressive forces. Vote NO.



• T: Low-Cost Substance Abuse Treatment Programs

YES
One of the key gaps in city services in recent years.



• U: Policy Against Funding the Deployment of Armed Forces in Iraq
  
  YES YES YES!
  This is another chance to express our city's dismay at the illegal and immoral war on Iraq. Vote Yes!



• V: JROTC
  
  NO NO NO!
  JROTC is a military recruitment and war propaganda tool right in the midst of our high schools. This past year the Board of Education voted to eliminate funding for it. Let's allow our high school students to mature on their own, then make a decision as to whether a military career is for them. Vote NO!

Visiting Sirhan Sirhan

There are just some things I can't quite explain. This is one of them. Congresscritter Dana Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Beach) was already a bit loony. He frequently claims to have ties to the CIA, and is a rabid right-wingnut. But this takes the cake...Rohrabacher apparently dressed in drag while visiting Sirhan Sirhan in Corcoran State Prison. He's pretty keen on solving what he believes is a conspiracy:

According to a September 25, 2008, Pasadena Weekly article by Carl Kozlowski, Rohrabacher believes that the Los Angeles Police Department has for 40 years hidden the fact that Sirhan Sirhan, the lone man convicted of shooting Kennedy, worked as part of a "real conspiracy" of Arabs.

Why? Well, Rohrabacher--a rabid right-wing Republican who has bragged to me and other reporters about his, uh, longtime personal ties to the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)--claims he was in the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles for a party at the same time Kennedy was murdered in the kitchen.

I'm almost speechless.

Hoo-Sain

I've been meaning to blog this, but Joe P sent me an example of the finest salt-of-the-earth folks humanity has to offer:



She got a real purty mouth, ain't she?

Mad Dash for Midway

The trip to Lincoln's Birthplace was harrowing, the stay stressful, and the return hectic. But somehow it worked. My original itinerary had me flying SFO-ORD-SPI on Monday, SPI-ORD-SFO on Tuesday evening. We got into Springfield and things weren't going so well. I wasn't prepared for the work I had come to do, and stayed up half the night worrying. A crappy hotel didn't help matters. But we woke up, did the work we came to do, came out of it well, and had some time to kill.

My boss and I decided to hit the Abe Lincoln presidential library and museum in downtown Springfield to see what it was about. The tour was interesting, with several good wax figure displays and narrations. The boss and I took off for the airport after about an hour.

Normally, United notifies you by text message when a flight is delayed. I got no such message, and arrived at the airport to find the flight delayed well past 7. That would have put me at ORD with too little time to connect to my SFO flight. Damn...I didn't want to spend the night in SPringfield or Chicago, since I have to travel again Thursday. Other airlines didn't pan out, so I told my boss that we shoudl drive. Screw it...into another rental car, one way to ORD. Then we realized we couldn't make it. So we spent time on the phone with our travel agent, trying to arrange flights out of MDW...and return the rental car there....all of this at 90+mph while watching for law enforcement types... We were sweating the arrival time: it was going to be very close. More than once, the boss commented that we weren't going to make it.

Needless to say, the travel agent came through, got us both booked onto flights...the boss to Providence, and me to OAK. I screeched to a stop at the MDW rental car return with 15 minutes till departure, ran to get my boarding pass, ran to security, ran to the gate, and made the flight with a few minutes to spare...plus I got home much earlier than I would have otherwise.

My routing looked like this. It was one of the more interesting logistical adventures I ever had.